Why Everyone Wants to Glow Up But Not Grow Up

We are living in a time where becoming “hot” is seen as a higher achievement than becoming wise. The internet is full of glow-up videos, side-by-side selfies, and body transformation montages. Perfect skin, snatched waists, flawless makeup; all framed as evidence of self-improvement.

But here’s the thing no one really posts about: While everyone wants to glow up, almost no one wants to grow up.

The Glow Up Illusion: Beauty Over Substance

Glow-up culture feeds us the idea that looking better is the same as being better. That if you lose your weight, fix your hairline and upgrade your wardrobe, you have somehow upgraded as a human being.

But this obsession with outer beauty has created a generation that is more focussed on appearing successful than being sensible.

We praise people for their physical transformations but say little about their character. Can they handle conflict with grace? Do they apologise when they are wrong? Are they listening more than they speak? None of this is captured in a TikTok montage. Because there’s no category for emotional maturity.

And the consequences is a society full of polished, pretty people who can’t hold meaningful conversations, can’t handle criticism and confuse popularity with purpose.

The irony is that all this focus on “bettering” ourselves does nothing to better the world around us. If everyone is working on their jawline but no one is working on their values, where does that leave us as a society?

Why Nobody Cares About Personality Anymore

We now live in a culture where personality is optional, and a great appearance is mandatory. There’s no big moment when someone decides to be less selfish or work on their temper.

Instead, we’re teaching younger generations that it’s better to be admired for how you look than respected for how you treat others. They grow shallow in the name of “growth”.

Glow-up culture sells us a shortcut to self-worth. It teaches this generation that they don’t need to work on their emotional baggage, if their mewing game is strong and they have abs.

On the other hand, this succeeds because the reality of adulting is ugly. Paying bills, setting boundaries, processing grief, admitting when we’re wrong? There’s no aesthetic to that. So instead, we escape into the fantasy of transformation that promises applause without introspection.

Many millennials and Gen Zs have been thrust into economic precarity, rising costs of living and social instability. Who wouldn’t want to focus on contouring and glow serums instead of confronting the crushing weight of adulthood? “Growing up” sounds like a trap when adult life is increasingly out of reach.

But what if, despite the difficulties, we spent half as much time working on our emotional intelligence as we do contouring our noses? Imagine the kind of relationships we could have. Imagine the society we could build.

What Happens When Nobody Grows Up?

When we don’t grow up, we repeat the same cycles of insecurity, broken communication and unresolved trauma. We become adults in appearance, but not in emotional capability. And when everyone’s glowing up but nobody’s growing up, we end up with a world full of attractive people who are miserable, shallow, and unable to connect beyond the surface.

No amount of beauty or filters will fix an emotionally bankrupt culture.

So, let’s start valuing depth over aesthetics. Because you can spend thousands on your skincare routine, but if your attitude stinks, you haven’t really “glowed up.” You’ve just covered up.