Tradition, culture, and history are what make a rich society. But it is also true that there are some problematic, toxic factors that keep on breathing in the name of these elements. A case in point will be how patriarchy is a part of our culture but it boils into misogyny. While we need to call out what is wrong in society, we do not have to get offended by literally everything including a cute viral video of a couple in Chitral.
Read More: Personal Reflection: Is Patriarchy Boiling Into Misogyny?
Couple in Chitral
Someone recently took to Twitter a video of a cultural tradition from Chitral. Apparently, their custom indicates that the newly married couple will make roti together. This act is supposed to symbolize how in their time together, they will work together with mutual cooperation.
An old but beautiful tradition in a village of #Chitral where the bride is asked to make a "Roti" on their wedding day & the groom helps her. This way, their marital life begins with mutal cooperation & love! 😊 pic.twitter.com/vodtxNlXVq
— HAY (@yasiralihamza) October 11, 2021
Netizens choose sides
But the keyboard warriors were not far behind. They jumped into action creating opposing groups on the matter. While some were of the opinion that this was a beautiful gesture and a tradition that needs to be preserved. There were others who said that this was somehow oppressing women. The latter used pieces of evidence such as the bride doing the entire roti-making work while the groom just flipping it or how the women all around were glorifying the groom and not appreciating the bride much.
Read More: Pakistani Couple’s Wedding Entry On A Tractor Goes Viral
People in support
Such heritage in a village of Chitra of Pakistan is so vibrantly preserved: Cooperation and Love!👏👏👏
— Zhang Heqing张和清 (@zhang_heqing) October 12, 2021
Wow what a beautiful tradition 😍. Unlike rest of Pakistan who would call a helping husband joru ka ghulam or budhi thalay lag gaya aye lol
— Malika-e-Jazbat (@Es0t3ric) October 13, 2021
What a simple but gracefully symbolic kick off.Our native wisdom is matchless.
— Mehboob Qadir (@MehboobQadir4) October 13, 2021
This is both innocent and adorable.
So non junglee like today’s mainstream shaadi celebrations.— K-Hanif (@KJHanif) October 13, 2021
People against the tradition
Wah "MUtUaL coOpEraTiOn" is starting by Groom receiving all the appreciation while the Girl gets only 2,3 odd claps. NICE.
— Alpha! (@_Alphawoman) October 13, 2021
Waisay aik flip karkay khush to itna horahay hain. Sara kaam to larki ne kiya
— Aqsa (@aqsaherself) October 12, 2021
عجیب رسم ہے پوری عمر بھی تو روٹی بنانی ہی ہے شادی والے دن تو معاف کردیتے
— Rukh (@rukhsanaalam) October 13, 2021
Analysis of a reader
It begs the question of why is there even a controversy ensuing from a simple video. Who is right; the people sending positive remarks or the people sending hate? The critics remind one of Lila Abu Lughod where she mentioned how the white feminists do not factor in a culture and its values. They believe that by enforcing their own beliefs they will be liberating a society.
They could not be completely wrong but in this case, specifically, the aggression doesn’t make sense. First of all, it is a cultural tradition just like the customs of joota chupai and doodh pilayi. Secondly, the roti-making custom seems the most progressive tradition considering the feminist agenda. It tells the public that society does not believe in the woman managing the kitchen alone. The household chore of cooking befalls both men and women. By working together, especially within the house, the custom shows that the couple can conquer anything thrown their way.
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