One cannot shy away from the idea that we have to respect our parents. Almost every culture and every religion endorse this. However, in respecting parents, often it happens that the parents start upholding toxic beliefs. Considering our personality and our parenting style reflect how our relationship has been with our parents, it becomes important, teaching Pakistani parents the difference between right parenting and toxicity.
Pakistani parents and invasion of personal space
While parents may come from a place where they do not want their children to be involved in wrongful acts, it is better to not invade their personal space. By this, we surely do not mean that children should be left on their own accord, rather, they should be taught with resolute behavior and then be given only enough free space that they can make their own decision.
Parents are always right
This idea comes from an understanding that since you have lived more than the children, you know more. But here is an interesting fact, in the ever-changing times, the kids of today are better able to attune themselves. Hence, it is actually possible that while you may know more, you may not know everything.
Being a dictator
Our society, unfortunately, has taught parents that the only way they will get revered is if they act like dictators. That is not true. In fact, it distances you from your children. That said, it is okay, if you do not want them to treat you as an equal. Where you stand and where they stand are indeed very different places. But by being a dictator you teach your children that they cannot communicate with you. As a result, even if they start sitting in wrong company, you wouldn’t even know. All the dictatorship would be for nothing, then, wouldn’t it?
Expecting children to fulfill parents’ dreams
In most cases, parents believe the children to be their extension.
“I did not get to study a certain discipline? Fine! My kid will do it.”
“I did not start a business? My child has to.”
“I started a company? My child has to inherit it!”
Parents forget that if they have dreams, their children are full fledged humans too with their own dreams.
Pakistani parents & comparison with others’ children
The worst thing parents do unintentionally is comparing their kids with others in front of them. If you have been following the ongoing drama, Hum Kahan Kay Sachay Thay, this is beautifully shown in it. When you needlessly compare your children with their friends or cousins, they develop insecurities. You may be doing it with the intention of encouraging them, but it takes a wrong turn really.
If you are a parent and have been doing all these, its time to revisit your parenting style. And if you are a child and are seeing your parent doing this, either show them this article or have a talk with them of course, with respect laced tone.
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