I’ve just started working (holla to all the working girls!) It’s my first ever real job (that’s right, internships do NOT count as work experience).
At first, everything seemed to be normal. But as I settled in, I realized that there were certain ‘characters’ roaming around. From the guy drooling on his keyboard to the girl constantly on her phone, I couldn’t help but notice their strange ways.
It occurred to me that these ‘characters’ aren’t just around me, they are found in every office across the world!
So, without further ado, here they are:
1. The ‘Johnny Bravo’:
The male boss who will NOT stop staring at you. He will find any excuse to be around you, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Just don’t get involved. End of story. Nothing good can come from it. Don’t even think about it!
2. The Weird Girl:
She is kind of crazy and not in a good way. Addicted to tea and always seems to be high (on drugs?). She is fascinated by the sight of burnt skin. Warning: Stay away if you want to live. She just might turn out to be Hannibal IRL. I repeat, STAY AWAY.
3. The Bro-Zoned:
The guy who is like everyone’s brother. He’s silly and nice. Sometimes irritating when teamed up with others but never takes anything too far. Willing to take you under his wing and teach you, that is, if you’re willing to learn.
4. Single Expression Girl:
She always has the SAME face on. The same expression. You don’t know what she’s feeling. She always, ALWAYS speaks in a monotone. Is she happy? Is she sad? I don’t know! Is that scary or what? (Warning, anger is pretty evident – STAY AWAY when she’s pissed off!)
5. Pretty Boy:
The guy who just can’t get over himself because, yes I’ll admit it, he is rather pretty. And feminine. (Say what?) But wait! However obvious it may be, he’s not actually homo!
6. The Selfie Girl:
The girl who just can’t stop checking herself out in her front camera. She loves taking selfies and she’s not afraid to admit that she might have a problem. (Someone call a therapist!) She is so skilled in her domain that you may not even notice her taking selfies right beside you.
7. The Creepster:
He’s new and well… he’s strange. He gives everyone the creeps and you had better stay away from him, lest he should start hitting on you. Whoops. Too late. Let the staring games begin! May the odds never be in your favor!
8. Smart Alec:
Always cracking jokes and equipped with comebacks, this guy thinks he’s the best thing that happened to the world. Hardly ever works and spends ALL his time trying to waste other people’s time. (Shut him up in a broom cupboard!) No one has ever seen this person actually working hard? Ever?
9. Boss aka Motha-Figure:
The girl we all love (and hate) having around because, well she is the boss. She’s always looking out for you, but she’s the one person you’re actually afraid of at your workplace. She tries to be cool and mostly is, but she just can’t hide her ‘control freak’ side. She absolutely HAS to be in charge!
10. The Office Idiot:
The one who NEVER understands anything. He always needs help with his work, it’s almost like you are doing the work of two people and he is just sitting there with an idiotic smirk on his face. Always behind on jokes and never up to date on work, you feel like you could just kill this guy, and get thrown into jail for it. Totally worth it!
11. The Human Leech:
This girl is THE biggest suck-up on the planet. In fact, she has jumped her way to the top by this very quality. While making friends with the higher-ups is her highest priority, she doesn’t seem to care at all what her coworkers think.
(Disclaimer: The views expressed above solely belong to the writer and have only been put up in good humor. The content should be taken as a light hearted comical take on everyday life, no offense to any individual or any group is intended.)