Allowing Yourself to Fail Toward Success

Ever get that tight clutchy feeling inside that says “There is no flipping way I can do this!” Yes, we all have. This is your personal internal protection monitor that keeps you safe in life. It also keeps you bored and even makes you a bore. Sometimes the protection monitor is a good thing, say when speeding down a highway at 120 miles an hour and it’s screaming at you to stop this silliness. Very good at those times. However, if your protection monitor is set on high and everything out of the entirely-too-comfortable-for-the-comfort-zone makes you feel squeamish, it’s time to reset your thermostat and make a go at the real life. Dare to be uncomfortable and you dare to really succeed!

It’s really very simple to get started. All you have to do is allow yourself to fail. Cough, sputter, what? Yeah, you heard me, allow yourself to fail. It’s when we get all pent up inside that we build walls to new experiences and opportunities that will make our businesses flourish. Sometimes it’s the fear of making a fool of ourselves. Sometimes it’s the fear of not looking good enough. Sometimes it’s just plain fear! And the death of fear is permission to fail. The amazing part of this remedy is how much you won’t actually live up to that permission. But yes, there will be a few stumbles as well.

Start by expanding your horizons right now. Make a business list of all the things you wish you could do but think you can’t. Now quit thinking and starting devising a plan for just one of those items on the list. Before you start, use a tool many writers implement to get past writer’s block, tell yourself to begin planning it but do it very, very badly. This is about action, not perfection. It’s about changing your internal paradigm so that you can grow toward more opportunity. By accepting failure as the bottom line, you allow yourself to risk toward greater success. You make the expectation comfortable while venturing into something new and uncomfortable.

Let’s take a simple example. While teaching my daughter to bake cookies, her perfectionism got in the way of her success. The first batch turned out badly and she cried for hours determined never to bake cookies again. While soothing her ruffled ego, I explained my approach to a new recipe which is simply as a learning avenue. Realizing that I know nothing about the new recipe I plan botching it up and then improving from there. Now my daughter uses this technique for not only learning to cook, but learning to do anything new and she is finally allowing herself to thrive!

I am not suggesting making a life long habit of doing things badly. Always give it your best shot but at the same time give your poor psyche a break and allow yourself a learning curve. Perfectionism will kill your creativity in marketing, business planning, and life. When you have what is perceived as a failure, turn it into a stepping stone instead of a wall. See your next effort as better than the last and your abilities will soar, as will your confidence. Confidence is built as much on little failures that get better as on big successes that get bigger.

The *average* entrepreneur millionaire leaves in his trail approximately eighteen failures. Failures that taught and strengthened and pushed those achievers forward. Trust me when I say that after 18 failures they decided along the way to allow these failures in order to eventually succeed.

So what are you still sitting here for? Go out and try something scary and new. Break the internal bonds that keep you nice and safe and your paycheck predictable. Let yourself fail toward your success! I dare you .

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